Parenting Tips for ADHD -

Today I spoke with Dana of Parenting in Real Life. She is a parent and teen coach who helps families navigate, understand, and provide parenting tips for ADHD and Anxiety. Even if you don’t have a child who has been diagnosed with either of these, I encourage you to listen in as you may have some Aha moments like I did today. I hope you enjoy this interview and find some valuable takeaways.

Parenting In Real Life came out of her daughters struggles. Right after Dana went on disability, her daughter’s teacher brought up her having stomachaches all the time. At the same time, Dana, discovered that her daughter wasn’t handling certain life transitions without a meltdown. She struggled to remember phone numbers of her friend or was having difficulty in math.

The outbursts were impacting the whole family and had altered the dynamics across the board. Dana decided to have her daughter tested for anxiety and ADHD. She began Parenting in Real Life because she realized having a child with disabilities can be overwhelming and she wanted to help.

She learned that 35% of kids diagnosed with ADHD or Anxiety actually have both. Yet they manifest in kids differently so it can be difficult to know if your child is dealing with it. It is important to parent your child in the way each needs not specifically based on their diagnosis.

Parenting siblings

It is also important to take in account the siblings. Nobody thinks about the siblings of these kids. Usually, the child with the diagnosis will get all the attention whether it is good or bad. Plus, siblings are witnessing the family blow ups due to child who has ADHD or Anxiety.

Parenting Tips for ADHD

It is important you are validating what they are saying or feeling. “You have to validate what they are saying and listen to them. If it’s anxiety and you don’t get it, and you say – you’re fine! just do it! – Well, they can’t. So that’s not very helpful.” Also pay attention to what they are saying and recognize, is it something they CAN’T do or WON’T do?

Make sure to stay calm with tone of voice

take time to speak out loud to help them understand

tell them about the diagnosis so they can begin to understand

keep track of outbursts and what is setting them off (ie – are they hungry, tired, spent from school)

and understand the “Power of Yet.” This is a powerful phrase to use to help kids get out of their head and emotions to a calmer state

Parenting Tools and Techniques:

Make sure to support your kids. Start from their strengths, point out when they have done something in the past and how they were able to conquer it and can do it again.

Hold them (if they will let you) so they can synch with your heartbeat which is calming.

Validate & praise them for their accomplishments.

How to help an anxious child when you are anxious too

Learn grounding skills. This will only take 10 mins of you time per day. Or write it all down – especially at night to get it out of your head and onto paper. It’s also nice to take a walk or put your hands in water or be near water.

How to get them tested

It is important to get them tested so that they can start to receive accommodations. Many children get to high school and are not diagnosed yet, but providing just a few minutes extra time to complete a test could make all the difference. You can get them diagnosed by getting tested at school for free or outside of school on your own through your Dr.
Listen to your gut! You know your kid best, stick with it, advocate and fight to get them tested.