How does Surrogacy work -

Susan Taylor is a two-time gestational surrogate, Program Manager at Fairfax Surrogacy, and a Licensed Midwife. She’s also married with four children of her own. She was a client of mine years ago and I’m happy to have her here to discuss how does surrogacy work and her own surrogacy journey.

Susan is passionate about helping build and birth families and serving those suffering from infertility and in the LGBTQ+ community.

Two types of Surrogacy

Traditional-Using the egg from the Surrogate mother
Gestational-Only gestates the baby, not the DNA of the Surrogate

How does Surrogacy work:

Although it is a delicate thing and situation, there is a whole industry behind surrogacy. There are agencies that you can work with to help you through the whole journey or you can go on it completely alone but there are guidelines by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, while each clinic also has their own guidelines. Most families will go with the guidelines based on the clinic they are working with in regard to what has been set forth for the Surrogate.

Susan’s Story

Susan decided to become a surrogate because she had a love of being pregnant and the whole birth process. Her 4th was her favorite birth experience, but she wasn’t going to have any more babies for her family. She watched a reality show, and this is when she decided to become a surrogate and was an Aha moment for her. From there, she started researching and had a desire to help someone else grow their family.

Each journey was different for her as the first one they knew each other through mutual friends in the birthing community and the mom came to all the appointments. The second time around she used an agency & the couple were in another country. She would regularly update them throughout the journey and then the parents are involved in the birthing process. Typically, the family is local for the end of pregnancy and during delivery.

How did the family handle it

Susan’s husband was a little bit worried after their own personal home birth and her connection to baby, but then after talking about it he was more open about it. Her kids were a bit younger and at first didn’t know or understand but they were open and honest as a family about it all. They knew from the beginning about why she was becoming a surrogate so were ok with everything.

Was it difficult to let go? No not at all. She was nervous about labor and delivery because she carries her babies forever, so she discussed all of this with her Duela’s. It was incredibly rewarding seeing her “Antenna parents” holding their baby for the first time. There were so many emotions, and she was honored to help her become a mom. It was never being sad about the baby, just that hormones are all over the place and you look different after having the baby. Then there is the change of not talking to Antennae parents on a regular basis because they are busy caring for a baby now!

It is important to know you have a complete family before becoming a surrogate. The hardest part for her was the body image after the fact, because you are trying to take care of your body postpartum and take proper care of body even though you don’t have a baby.